Secure and loved

Ok, i know i'm using my blog as a diary and it may be silly to confide all this in complete strangers. But you know what? It feels easier. I mean, writing stuff in a diary gives you a certain degree fo comfort, but it doesn't feel like anyone has heard you or you can get advice back.
So now i get to the point of this:
My mum just cut my hair for me and i felt really happy and safe and she did this thing she used to do when i was little and i loved it. I felt free again.
Then i mentioned how sometimes i wish i was still a toddler and asked my mum if she felt the same.
I meant if she ever wished she was a toddler, but her answer surprised me. She said that she wished that my twin and I were toddlers all the time, because when we were toddlers we were happy and free and there was a glint in our eyes showing that we knew we were secure and loved.
Apparently when my dad left that glint disapeared. I'm not surprised. After my dad left i thought no one loved me for a while. But my mum sounded so sad and wistful talking about it.
She said that even though i was secure an dlove,d i still didn't loook like i knew it.
The truth is, sometimes i don't. But i know my mum loves me and this has just proved it for me.
I do have a loving family who have stuck by me through thick and thin. I have suhc an amazing family.
So i would like to say now, mum, bobby, beco, You are the best family that anyone could ever wish for and i will always love you.
I used nicknames for my sisters by the way. I didn't think thye'd want their names online.